I have determined what it feels like: I feel as though I am strung up by one ankle and left to hang. Everything is still there, just different, less comfortable and less pleasant. The solution is in sight, but out of reach. Occasionally, a fit of hopefulness will take me and I will struggle to reach the knot, but all this serves to do is tire me out. And still the knot grows tighter.

It still hurts

Dream

Someone running MC. At PLANT mall, see Pluv 4m PR. Fog machine at youth room

Vacation

It's beautiful here, I wish I weren't so alone.

More Dreams

I'm getting rather sick of the good ones, even if I hardly remember this last one.

The other dream I had is somewhat clear: there was some sort of apocalyptic alien invasion, I don't remember the details, but there was a race of people who lived underground and some other races, but I think they all looked human. My brother and I were in a group, I think we might have been survivors. We were bracing ourselves for the future. Each person in the group was going to marry someone, I was going to marry one of the people who lived underground. I don't remember her name.
Something happened just before or after the marriage and my brother and I entered coma-like states. In this state, I saw images like skipping film of me in a boat. It passed very quickly, but when I awoke, something like four years had passed. I was in one of the homes of the Underground people, one of the people from our group was staying there as she took care of its owners. She was travelling around and healing the Underground People. My brother did not awake, but I knew that he would soon. Our group had split up after what happened to my brother and I, so I went in search of the girl I had married. I think the healer girl might have been who my brother had married? Anyway, I found myself in a version of NGU that was very unusual. I had been there before, I think earlier in this dream or in my previous dream. I went through it quickly and found my way to a city at night. A hotel was there, where I knew two of our group were staying. I had changed personalities somewhat, I now felt very much like Revema and acted short with people. The hotel had a restaurant on the first floor and I was stopped and asked for a reservation, but I told them who I was there for and they let me through. I went up an elevator and came to the floor where they were. It was Betan and someone else... They were surprised to see me and hesitant when I told them that my brother would be waking up soon.

I don't remember anything else.